Welcome back! In today’s episode of The Self-Confidence Project, I’m sharing why modern women often categorize men into two groups: those they respect and those they disrespect, resent and fear. I’ll discuss key traits that earn women’s respect versus common behaviors that garner disrespect (like indecisiveness and excessive agreeableness). I’ll also share practical advice for men struggling in their dating lives, emphasizing the importance of self-leadership and emotional awareness for building healthy, lasting relationships. Tune in to learn how you can transform your dating life and become the kind of man that modern women respect.
If you’re dating after a divorce, or long-term relationship, watch my FREE MASTERCLASS here: https://dating.kimberlyninahill.com/home
Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of The Self-Confidence Project. I’m your host, Kimberly am a dating and relationship coach for men, and today I’m gonna share with you why modern women only see men in two ways and how most men are falling into the wrong category. Now, here’s an, uh, uncomfortable truth, right?
Women today either respect men or they disrespect men. And therefore they resent you and possibly even fear you. And the scariest part is that a lot of men are behaving or operating in a way that they believe puts ’em into the respectful category. When in fact they’re actually in the disrespect category now, there really isn’t any in-between anymore.
And the same way men view women, you either respect a woman or you disrespect her because of some of her choices. Now today I wanna [00:01:00] explain why this is the case and give you examples of. You know what it looks like to be in either of the categories. Now, before I dive in, if you are new to this channel, welcome aboard.
We talk all things life, dating and relationships. Sometimes, you know those fun little videos around how to date online. And sometimes I talk about the more deep and meaningful things when it comes to. Modern dating and modern relationships, and that’s what today’s video is all about. Now, if you are struggling in your dating life, you’re struggling to attract the right kinds of partnerships, you’re not having success in your relationships, or you’re dating again after a divorce or the end of a long-term relationship, and you know, maybe you’re a little down on yourself, you’re not really sure how to operate in today’s modern dating landscape, and you want a little support and guidance to set you off in the right direction.
So you can be like many of my clients who are. Enjoying dating, having fun, meeting great women, or just going on to have deeply loving relationships, then I welcome [00:02:00] you to book a complimentary call with me. We’ll see if we’re the right fit to work together, if coaching’s the right modality for you and uh, and off we go from there.
So the link to do that is in the show notes here. You can head to my website at ww dot kimberly nina hill.com. But here’s the uncomfortable truth, why right women today either. Respect men, or they disrespect men and women are going to respect men that have a purpose in life. Now, purpose is one of those words where it’s like, well, what do you really mean by purpose?
Now, I don’t mean some global earth shattering. Purpose, like solving world hunger. What I’m talking about here is a man believes that he wants to be a good son, a good father, a good husband. He wants to run a successful business. He wants to be, um, you know, very successful in his physical endeavors. He wants to be, um, a good role model to other people, a good brother.
It just means that a man has a reason to wake up in the morning, some kind of [00:03:00] direction, some kind of vision. Women respect men. Who have direction, vision, and therefore purpose. Now, women also respect men who have emotional composure because, well, the opposite of emotional composure is not having emotional composure, which means that you fly off the handle.
Your emotions are not in check. You don’t know how to deal with the emotions that you’re gonna be feeling every day for the rest of your life, and that’s difficult to be around, right? Same as if you met a woman who just was. All over the place all the time. Emotionally, it’s really hard to build and have a healthy relationship with someone who.
Just has no consistency or self-awareness emotionally. So women look for men with purpose. They look for men with emotional composure, and they generally, really today, are looking for men who can stand their ground without unnecessary drama and without unnecessary. Aggression. You don’t have to be rich.
You don’t have to look like a fitness model. You just have to know who you [00:04:00] are, and that means you’re not gonna shrink to women. You’re not gonna chase women, right? On the other hand, women disrespect men. Who cannot make decisions, they disrespect. Men that say whatever you want are apathetic or overly agreeable all the time on dates and in relationships.
Women don’t respect men who are overly apologetic or are fearful and hugely conflict avoidant. They don’t respect men who lose their cool when things don’t go their way, or men that hide their truth. Because they are just trying to be agreeable and keep the peace. Okay? Women won’t respect you. They might smile at you, they might even sleep with you.
They might date you for a while, but deep down, if you’re behaving in these ways, it means she doesn’t fully trust you. And if she can’t fully trust you, she can’t be fully attracted to you [00:05:00] and therefore she’s gonna start resenting you. And sometimes even. Fear you. So here’s how respect looks in a relationship.
You’re the kind of man that can. Calmly say to a woman, I’m sorry, but that doesn’t work for me. Or, no, I don’t want you doing that. Um, you’re going to be able to stand out for yourself when a woman tests your boundaries without drama, without aggression, you’re the kind of man that can handle her emotions and your own without getting extremely defensive.
You are the type of man that has goals and hobbies and passions and purpose outside of dating and outside of the relationship. So you don’t make a woman the center of your world. Now having her as a priority, prioritizing the relationship, those are very important things, but you don’t circle around the woman in your life.
You need to have. Other passions or pursuits or things that challenge you outside of the relationship [00:06:00] and you’re the kind of man that is very capable of leading a date or leading a relationship. You’re the kind of man that can say, you know what? Be ready at six or be ready at seven. I have something planned.
Not all the time, not every weekend, but you have the ability to organize and take leadership, to create greed experiences in that dynamic. That’s the kind of man that women. Respect. Now, here’s how disrespect and fear will creep into your relationship. Okay? You text her repeatedly after she doesn’t reply to you, or you say sorry all the time, even when you haven’t done anything wrong, because this is your easy way out of avoiding discomfort or conflict, or you’re the kind of man that gets very quiet.
Or even passive aggressive. When a woman challenges you and you’re the kind of man that agrees with everything that she says, thinking that it makes her like [00:07:00] you more, when in fact it’s not, it’s going to make her pull away because here’s the truth, modern women do have options. You just need to sign up for a dating app to recognize this and.
Women are more emotionally intelligent than ever before. Not all of ’em, obviously, but women on the whole are more emotionally intelligent than ever before. And a lot of women have also been burned enough to be able to spot a man who is out of alignment within minutes of meeting this man. So they test you, they poke you, they observe you, right?
’cause they wanna see. Is this a man that I can trust, not just with my body, but with my emotions, my wildness, my femininity, my heart, right? So if you are the kind of man that collapses under the weight of a woman’s [00:08:00] challenge or pressure, then she no longer views you. As a partner, she may start to view you as a liability.
And if you are hearing this video and you’re thinking, Hmm, I think I have been that guy some of the time, fine. This is a healthy reminder of where women place men. And women will respect men who speak truthfully, even if the truth hurts. Now, obviously there’s helpful truth and there’s hurtful truth.
Being truthful doesn’t mean you’re critical or nasty to people. It just means you can speak your truth if you disagree with something or you want something a different way. Speaking truthfully with women and in a relationship means you say, I am dissatisfied with how things [00:09:00] are. I feel disconnected with our intimacy.
I feel frustrated about our finances. You can be honest, you can speak truthfully versus hiding your truth. You are the kind of man that can say no when it is in fact needed in the relationship. No, we cannot do that. Or, no, I’m not able to do that right now. And you recognize that saying no doesn’t mean that the relationship is over, right?
You’re a man that. Pursues purpose and something greater than himself. And you’re the kind of man that can stay grounded under pressure. Now, it doesn’t mean that you can’t have a bad day or be a little emotionally composed from time to time, right? But generally, you’re the kind of man that’s very grounded under pressure because if a woman doesn’t know if she can trust you emotionally, and you’re the kind of man that could snap at any moment.
There’s no way she’s going to be safe in her femininity around you, and you’re gonna start to notice this woman get more critical, [00:10:00] more distant, and uh, probably just stop doing nice things for you in a relationship. I. So women respect men who stop seeking validation from women all the time. If you want her to follow your lead, then you have to first be the kind of man who leads himself.
Now, a lot of men are not being taught this. And this is because that, you know, a lot of men, particularly, and I can’t remember the last time I looked at the statistic, but more men are expected to be raised in fatherless homes than with fathers, especially in America, which means that a lot of men. Are being raised by their mothers or being raised with a lot of feminine virtues and values, which are not negative virtues and values.
But what happens is if you haven’t really been taught to speak your truth or to say no, or to deal with conflict, and you are in fact too agreeable and too [00:11:00] passive, well women today. You know, they’re not going to jive with that kind of energy. So this is all about being what’s called a grounded man or an integrated man.
You’ll see these words used in books like No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover and various other books. Um, one, am I Thinking Of The Way, the Superior Man by David Data. These are men that have written books around why it’s important that you’re not. The nice guy and passive aggressive and passive and conflict avoidant.
But why? They’re also not promoting men to be dramatic women hating men. Right? So if you’ve recognized that you have tendencies that actually put you in the category that women. Might be disrespecting and therefore resenting and possibly even fearing you. Then gaining this awareness allows you to recognize that saying no is okay, and leading is a good quality, and having purpose outside of the relationship is [00:12:00] important and not doting on women all the time is actually what’s gonna get you the relationship you really want.
So if you’re ready to change. Yourself for your own good. And then of course, so that women see you differently. Um, this is when you start showing up differently, guys. This is when women feel it and everything changes, and you truly get and recognize that women are deeply attracted to men that are self.
LED and men that are honest and men that do not hide from conflict because then this woman can feel safe with you. Now, I have other videos where I talk a little bit about polarity and I touch on this subject in other ways, but I wanted to share this video today because the truth is women are going to put you in one of two camps not long after getting to know you based on how self-led you are.
Based on how you spend your [00:13:00] time and genuinely based on how emotionally composed you are and, um, you know, whether or not you, um, have the ability to deal with conflict in a healthy way. So I wanted to. Put this video out there. I would love to hear your comments on this. Um, I would love to hear where you agree, where you disagree, what your experiences have been, whether you’ve been in one of these camps, or you think that maybe there’s a third camp that I haven’t talked about today.
Please leave your thoughts and comments here. Um, but honestly, women, you know, that are having successful relationships with men in this modern world because women have also. Taken on a lot of what are considered masculine characteristics, independence, um, self-authoring, self-leadership as well. They are looking to find men that are, let’s be honest, slightly stronger in that area [00:14:00] because what otherwise what happens is men try to.
Control and exert dominance over women, or they become subservient to women and neither of those dynamics are healthy. You want to be in a relationship that is healthy where you have emotional awareness. Therefore, your partner and your partner also has emotional awareness, and you guys can be an unstoppable force, right?
You know how to have conflict. You know how to repair from it. You know how to support each other, you know how to support yourselves and therefore build a dynamic. Loving, healthy, long-term relationship guys, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Drop them below and look forward to seeing you guys all next week.
Cia.
