In this episode of The Self-Confidence Project, I’m diving into the five personality types of women you’ll want to avoid when dating. If you’re newly back in the dating scene after a tough breakup or divorce, it’s so important to recognize these red flags early. I’ll break down each type — from the avoidant dream girl to the love bomber — and share tips on how to spot them fast. If you’re a good-hearted man looking for a deeply loving, meaningful relationship, you don’t want to miss this one.
P.S. If you’re a man navigating dating after divorce, don’t go it alone. My free masterclass was made for you—learn how to rebuild confidence, attract the right women, and avoid common post-divorce mistakes. Watch it here.
Ready for tailored support? Book your 1:1 dating strategy call with me here and let’s map out your next steps.
See you next week,
Kimberly
Here’s the transcript:
Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of The Self-Confidence Project. I’m your host, Kimberly, and today you’re gonna wanna stick around if you’re dating at all, because I’m gonna be talking to you about the five personality types of women that you wanna absolutely avoid or circumvent when you are dating.
No matter how hot this woman is, and I get it, if you’ve been through a really tough breakup, maybe you’ve been through a divorce, maybe you’ve been separated for many years, and you finally decided to say to yourself, okay, I’m gonna put myself back out there. And you come across a woman who’s really beautiful, she replies to you, which is just so refreshing.
And maybe she’s even flirtatious. But hear me now. Because there are five types of women that will absolutely wreck your nervous system no matter how hot she is. And in this [00:01:00] video I’m gonna break down who those women are, what red flags you wanna be looking out for, and how to spot these types of women in like two messages or less.
So you don’t have to date them for many months or waste your time, and ultimately you can save yourself the drama. So let’s go now. If you’re brand new to this channel, welcome aboard. Buckle up. We talk all things life and dating and relationships. My name is Kimberly Hill and I’m a dating and relationship coach for men, and I help good hearted men attract deeply loving, meaningful relationships.
So if you’re new to this channel, of course, welcome here. And if you’ve been watching my videos for some time or supporting my podcast before I even came here on YouTube, then thank you very much for sticking around and supporting what I do. Um, it’s something that I take a lot of pride and pleasure in.
And if you’re someone who’s kind of struggling or um, finding dating to be frustrating and you want a little [00:02:00] guidance, you are more than welcome to reach out and book a one-on-one complimentary consultation with me. We’ll see if we’re a good fit, and if, if we are and we work together, you can be like many of the men I work with who are finding deeply loving, satisfying relationships.
Now, today we’re gonna be talking about the women you want to completely avoid dating, and we’re gonna start off with talking about. Woman number one. And woman number one is the avoidant dream girl. Now, this woman, wow, she seems amazing at first. She’s warm, she’s confident, she’s magnetic, and to be honest with you, this is the type of woman that most of my clients end up dating.
After a divorce, they find out that this relationship doesn’t feel good. This relationship ends and then they seek some counsel. So if you are before that point, you’re in luck. You can recognize [00:03:00] patterns that many other men have gone through now with this avoidant dream girl. While she might present as amazing in the beginning, every time the relationship gets real or anytime.
The relationship gets truly close. She conveniently, poof. Disappears, and maybe she disappears by putting a lot of distance between you and says she, she’s just really busy right now. Or in fact, she needs time to process, but she processes alone. And guess what guys? She’s avoidant. She’s allergic to emotional closeness.
But guess what? She’s still addicted to attention, like most human beings are now. How can you spot this type of woman earlier on or in two messages or less? Well, if this type of woman matches with you on a dating app, she sends you really [00:04:00] flirtatious messages and then she disappears for days only to pop back into your life at her convenience like nothing has even happened.
Then understand that if a woman is inconsistent from the jump. She will remain inconsistent in your life. And some of the best advice that I have ever received in my life, in fact, I read it in a great article, and it’s something that I apply to all areas of my life, is expect the expected. Expect the expected from people.
So if she’s inconsistent, expect her to continue being inconsistent. And you gotta ask yourself, can I really build a loving relationship with someone who’s really inconsistent? Most likely the answer’s gonna be no. So that is something to keep in mind. Expect the expected. Now, woman number two. Well, woman number two is what I like to call the love bomber.
And this is the type of woman that will say to you. You’re absolutely everything I have been looking for, and I just cannot believe that we even matched or found ourselves in this universe, in this world. I feel such a deep connection to you already. Have you ever heard of soulmates or twin flames? And then you’re like, I actually only exchanged like three texts with this women.
Now guys, this isn’t romance. This is emotional bait. And this is the type of woman that is more likely to be the type of woman, woman that scams men online. So she’s gonna seek out men that are newly dating after divorce or are still carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Men that really. Need to be loved and held and supported, and she’s gonna just shovel that in.
She’s gonna feed you all the things that you’re really wanting to [00:06:00] hear and then before she even gets on a date with you, ’cause all this is happening in this emotional text exchange back and forth, there is gonna be some reason why she can’t meet you or can’t get to your state. Because she just can’t afford it because she needs money for her dog’s vet Bill or her son is sick and she needs money, and if she could just get that help, then she could just restructure things so that she could just meet this dream man that she’s fallen in love with.
This isn’t romance. This is that emotional bait I was talking about. So how can you spot this woman in two messages or less? Well, if a woman’s energy goes from pretty much zero to let’s get married in 24 hours, please run. Because real connection, it is built, guys. It’s not rushed. And the tip here to remember and to look out for is that if.
If it feels [00:07:00] really good, really fast, it’s probably not love. It’s a manipulation pattern. So please look out for this now, woman number three. Woman number three is the validation of vampire. She doesn’t want a relationship. She just wants a free supply of male attention to boost her self worth, and she’s gonna flirt just enough with you to keep you hooked and nothing more now.
I actually have an entire other video on the validation vampire. I call it something a little bit differently, but there’s a video I think I titled called Does She Want You or Just Your Attention. This is the Validation Vampire. Again, she’ll keep doing just enough to keep you hooked but is never really gonna commit to anything.
So she’ll dodge. This is how you can tell in in two messages or less, right? She will dodge any plans to meet you. She will have a [00:08:00] reason why she can’t or why it needs to continuously be delayed. But she will just kind of keep replying just enough to keep the conversation going. Um, but she’s not gonna ask you questions of depth back.
She’s not gonna be ex, you know, really, truly getting to know who you are. And the translation here is that she just likes that dopamine not ever wanting the actual date. So please don’t fall for the trap of trying to win this woman over. You’re not her therapist and you know you’re not equipped to be and you’re not her fan club.
And women that are validation vampires are also the kind of the women that you get really confused by because again, she keeps just enough attention to keep you hooked. And then she’ll send you like a really like smoking hot photo of her out of the blue, which you mistake for a connection building. But it’s just her way of saying, I’m feeling insecure right now.
Can you gimme attention? Here’s this hot [00:09:00] photo I’ve taken of myself, and don’t fall for it. You’re gonna end up going like, wow, you’re stunning. You look amazing. And, and she’s gonna be like, thanks. I feel better. I’m just gonna, ah, I’ve got, got what I needed so I can have a wonderful sleep now. And then you’re thinking like, where is this going?
And she’s going, it’s not going anywhere. I just feel so much better now that I got all this attention and I can have deep, sweet dreams. Don’t fall for the validation of vampire and woman. Number four, this is the emotional project or project depending on what side of the border you are on. Now, this is the kind of woman that when you actually get on a date with her or you read her profile, there’s something visceral about it, like you can feel her pain.
In her bio and or your first date is like this monologue of what all her exes did wrong, and her messages are half flirting, but also half venting. [00:10:00] And at first you’re thinking, this feels really deep, this feels amazing. And then you realize. I think I’m dating this woman’s trauma. So how do you spot this type of woman in two messages or less?
Well, if she immediately is mentioning her ex, or she goes into story after story of her heartbreak, it’s like all these crazy things that men have done to her, or what men always do wrong, then guess what? You are not the man she wants. You’re the man she wants. To fix the past and do not get into that role of trying to heal her, of her relationship with men.
It is a losing battle. You’re not equipped, you’re not qualified to do that role. And do you even wanna do that role, right? Because instead of trying to prove to this woman that you are different from all these men, and you’re in fact a safe man. You don’t need to be proving that that’s either something you are [00:11:00] or aren’t.
So if you are a safe man, don’t get into the trap of trying to prove you are to a woman who already has a long history and a deep fixed mindset on men or X, Y, Z manner, or this, which leads me to woman number five. Moha the control queen. She’s hot. This is a hot chick. She’s charming. And she has strong opinions, which is cool until you realize.
I don’t think she actually wants a partner. I think she just wants someone else to control. And this is the kind of woman that will test your boundaries very early on and she’ll say things or imply things like, you better not be one of the guys that does this or does that. Or I hate when men do X, Y, Z, and you’re gonna watch how quickly her expectations of you stack up and how fast your self-respect is going to disappear.
So how do you spot this woman in about two messages or [00:12:00] less? If her tone towards you about life, not just about you, but if her tone towards you is critical. It’s judgmental. It’s very defensive before she even knows you, that it ain’t chemistry. It is controlled, disguised as confidence. So here is the truth.
A woman can be beautiful, can be stunning, can be intelligent, and she can flirt with you. And she can still be completely unavailable for a real loving relationship. A healthy relationships, all these women can be available for poor relationships. Toxic toxic relationships, situations, relationships that harm your nervous system, but they are not available for healthy relationships.
So maybe you wanna ask yourself, what is a healthy relationship? And if you don’t know realistically what that looks like. [00:13:00] You’re not alone. We often have understandings of relationships from our upbringing, which may or may not have modeled accurately what a healthy relationship is like. If you’re taking your relationship ideas from the fancy little snapshots that couples posts on social media, be mindful that comparison is a thief of joy, and you might be comparing yourself to a false.
False, false reality of what’s really going on behind the scenes. So remember, guys, that if you’re dating again after a divorce in particular, when your heart is still healing, right? These kinds of women, these personalities won’t just break your heart. They’re going to reopen all sorts of old wounds. So please remember not to just swipe for beauty, to swipe for peace.
To swipe with integrity for consistency, for alignment, and [00:14:00] understand what you are looking for. Not a fictitious picture, perfect fantasy list of what would be great if you rose to the heavens and could meet an angelic woman. But what’s realistic, what you really truly know, you need to be satisfied in a relationship at whatever juncture of life you’re at and understand what you’re not available for anymore.
This kind of clarity helps you date with integrity. This kind of clarity helps you avoid very quickly these types of five women I’m talking about today. And if you’re not sure how to navigate this, I get it. I understand that. Understanding ourself from my, our own perspective is tough, which is why you’re more than welcome to reach out and book, book a call to see if, uh, working with me would be a good fit.
If not, that’s okay. It’s simply an invitation. Because I help a lot of men navigate heartbreak, post-divorce, figure out with [00:15:00] clarity and integrity what they’re looking for, and help them actually naturally attract the types of women that are going to build loving relationships with ’em. Now, I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments about this.
And now what I don’t wanna see is jumping into Bash particular women. What I would like to see is. What experiences have you had where you recognize a woman was one of these five types of personalities or was not the type of woman that would be able to cultivate a healthy relationship with you? If we can share what we notice.
What our intuition has told us. That’s wisdom that we can share with other people, um, to help us make good decisions about who is right for us for a long-term relationship. Thanks guys for tuning in to another episode of The Self-Confidence Project and I’ll see you guys all next week. Cia.
