In this episode, I’ll be sharing the subtle signs and signals that indicate a woman is interested in you. Many men wish dating were more straightforward, but understanding female interest requires recognizing patterns in body language, verbal cues, and situational signs over time. I’ll walk you through these key indicators, why women signal instead of directly pursuing, and how to confidently respond to these signals. Perfect for men re-entering the dating scene, especially after a divorce or long-term relationship, this guide will help demystify the dating world and enhance your relational success. Plus, get tips on communication with my audio masterclass.
P.S. If you’re a man navigating dating after divorce, don’t go it alone. My free masterclass was made for you—learn how to rebuild confidence, attract the right women, and avoid common post-divorce mistakes. Watch it here.
Ready for tailored support? Book your 1:1 dating strategy call with me here and let’s map out your next steps.
See you next week,
Kimberly
Here’s the transcript:
An overwhelming number of you guys hope and wish and would plead that women would make it more obvious when they’re into you, and then dating would just be a lot easier. And we could have healthier, happier relationships. But sadly, that isn’t the truth. And I’m sorry to tell you that because you guys wish that women would make it obvious when they’re interested, but they won’t.
And it’s not because they’re trying to play games. It’s because biologically, socially, and emotionally, women invite way more than they pursue. And a lot of men that I work with, and particularly a lot of divorced men, will completely miss these invitations. Or maybe even worse, you’ll dismiss them or assume you’re even imagining it.
You’re like, did I, did she? Is she, I don’t know. Couldn’t be me. So today I wanna walk you through the clear signs that a woman wants you to ask her out. The body [00:01:00] language, the phrases, the behavioral patterns, and the signals over time that matter more than one time that she flicks her hair, which might just mean she had an itch because the hair landed on her skin, right?
So I want you to think about things. Over a period of time, and by the end of this video, you’re gonna know exactly how to recognize female interests and how to make your move in a confident, grounded, and masculine way. So if this is something you’re excited for, please. Buckle up. Let’s dive in now. Before I do, and I give you all these amazing tips and tricks, I wanna welcome you to this channel.
My name is Kimberly Hill. I’m a dating and relationship coach for men. I’ve been coaching men for many years now, particularly men that are navigating the dating landscape or modern dating world after a divorce, a separation. Or the end of a long-term relationship. So it’s been a little while since you’ve, you know, dusted off your boots and had to get out there.
And what I really focus on is helping good hearted men attract these deeply loving relationships and maintain those relationships [00:02:00] because I guarantee you, we all need more healthy relationships. We need less divorce and less reasons to divorce people, and we also need more self-awareness and happiness.
We’re very lonely. Distressed, anxious, disconnected world, and I’m trying to find my way into helping people feel more connected and just better about their lives and better about their partnerships because that is the wish I’ve always had for myself and one of the biggest reasons why I took such an interest in getting into this field of work.
So firstly. What are we gonna talk about here? Right? I wanna share with you why women will signal instead of actually pursuing you, because you guys are like rolling your eyes thinking, why won’t women just make it a little more obvious and help us out a little bit here? And it’s because women rarely lead with direct pursuit for a couple different reasons.
First gonna say it here, it’s safety. Women need to feel quite safe before they show full interest. Unless she’s a completely unhinged, [00:03:00] dysregulated, highly traumatized woman, in which case we have a lot of empathy for that. But women usually aren’t going to be so bold and pursue men unless they feel safe.
Now, the second reason is polarity. So healthy attraction is gonna work a lot better when men take the lead and women open the door. So women’s role isn’t and hasn’t been to chase you. It’s to let you know that you can pursue ’em, that your invitation would be welcome. And once you understand those signals, the whole dating world gets easier.
And in fact, this just seems like a relevant time to let you know I do have an audio masterclass called, um, what the heck is it called? Called 10 Tips for Talking and Texting with Women. And it really demystifies a lot of this in a simple Sub 60 Minute audio Masterclass is gonna teach you a lot about the differences in communication between men and women.
And some really helpful things to understand to connect to women. So it’s [00:04:00] 79 bucks if you wanna check it out. The link is in the show notes here. I highly recommend it. It’s been a favorite of many of my clients and individuals that have purchased it. And if you like, just listening to this kind of stuff as you’re walking or hiking or doing something, that would be a great format to dive a little deeper into this subject and to give you some tips on how to connect with women there.
But of course, that’s also what today’s video is about. And once you start to understand these signals. Things do just get demystified and the world can become a little easier to navigate. Now let’s first talk about the body language signals. And these are the first green lights that you wanna look out for from a woman.
And women will signal interest through how they position their bodies around you. And the cues sometimes are subtle. Some women are a little more. I have a little more bravado about them, but most women are relatively subtle and these things are subconscious and they’re also very reliable. So the first is that, okay.
Let’s say you’re in a situation where, you know, you, [00:05:00] you happen to be at a bar, maybe you happen to be at a networking event. Maybe you’re at a speed dating event. Maybe you’re at a friend’s party or somewhere where there’s a social element around you where you don’t know this woman. You haven’t predetermined, you’re single and met on a dating app.
This is just a, a woman in the wild, so to speak, a gazelle out there in the world. How you’ve come about her is up to how robust and healthy your social life is. So the first thing is that a woman is gonna face her body towards you. She’s saying. Hello. I am here and this is an invitation and I am noticing you.
And if you’re in a group and she angles her knees and her hips and her shoulders towards you, she’s orienting herself to you. That’s a subtle sign of interest. If she had no interest in you, she thought you were. Uh, swamp Monster. She didn’t wanna talk to you. She would not open herself to you. She would be doing the opposite.
She was, she’d be closing herself off to your energy. So when a woman is open and facing you, that’s a good [00:06:00] sign. And naturally you’re gonna notice those women more than you notice the ones that are huddling away from you. A woman is also gonna soften around you. She’ll, she’ll be more relaxed, a relaxed jaw, warmer eyes, softer voice.
Women kind of do this when we’re like, we’re trying to be like really cute, and we’re like, LA, la, la, la. Love us, hug us. So we do this kind of shit. It’s because we’re softening up around you. And you might be like, what is off with her? I think some women, some, some funny films in Hollywood have over highlighted this and they make women look really crazy, but we’re softening around you.
We relax, and when we do this, we do it naturally because we’re feeling that element of safety and we’re feeling a little bit of that attraction. So we’re trying to like. You know, make ourselves, uh, soften up and be a little more feminine around you. She’s also gonna move closer to you. And I remember doing this when I was younger.
I’d kind of like see a guy and I think he’s interesting looking. And I would move my body to a place where like, I was [00:07:00] obvious to see, and this is in my twenties, when I, you know, I was, you know, trying to get out with my girlfriends and see cute boys out and about. And I wanted to be, I wanted to be picked, I wanted to be chosen.
I, you know, and, and I tried to make myself available in that sense. And so a woman is gonna move closer to you. She’s gonna stand slightly inside your personal space. Maybe she’s gonna get that close to you. She’s gonna bump into your arm and she’s ordering a drink next to you at the bar. She’s gonna lean in even when she doesn’t need to.
’cause she’s like showing that she’s interested or trying to hear you. She’s gonna find a chair next to you, um, instead of way across on the other side of the room, like a big sign of a woman. If you’re, if you’re, let’s say you’re going back to university or you’re taking a course, doesn’t matter what your age is, and, and you see a woman and she, she sees you and you make eye contact and then she sits at the furthest seat away from you.
Not a good sign. She just, she’s kind of saying with her body language, I’m just gonna keep my distance and say over here, but a woman that is interested in you, she’s gonna get closer to you. Women don’t do this with men. They’re indifferent to, they do it with men that they’re interested in, curious about, wanna know, maybe [00:08:00] attracted to maybe want something more from, and then there’s the accidental touching.
And that’s a light graze on the arm. It’s a hand on your back. It’s the shoulders that brush together. It’s playfully nudging you during conversation. These aren’t accidents. We are not touching you. If we are not interested in you. We do not touch men. We’re not interested in, I guarantee it. We only touch men that we either are attracted to.
Or we have a fondness towards that may not be romantic like our fathers or the elderly man in the neighborhood that we think is adorable, and we put our hands on his shoulder. It’s not because we want to get into bed with him. It’s because we feel safe with him. And touch is something that happens when we feel safe with people.
There’s sexual and there’s nonsexual touch. So the accidental to. Let’s assume that maybe your age appropriate to begin with makes it a little more clear that, hmm, she’s getting close to you, she’s moving near you, she’s looking at you, she’s softening herself and being more feminine around you, and she’s kind of nudging you or [00:09:00] touching you in this conversation.
A woman is also going to mirror your energy, so if you sit back, she’ll sit back. If you smile, she’ll smile a little bit. If you lean in, she’ll lean in a little bit because mirroring is attunement. What it means is she’s paying attention to you and we pay attention to things we’re interested in. You’ve probably had this example of going on a date with a woman or maybe being in the space of a woman and she kind of slumps and she, she’s on her phone and you might be animated and telling a story and she’s not attuned to you at all.
She’s having her own experience that is completely polar opposite of yours, and so that is not a good sign that a woman’s interested in you or trying to feign disinterest. She’s simply not interested at all. We will attune to people that we are attracted to. And you will do this too, towards a woman you’re attracted to.
So those are the body language cues you need to be mindful of. You can watch my other videos on flirting that talk about this too in some more detail. Let’s, however, [00:10:00] move to some of the verbal signs. Now I actually wanna share with you some of the exact phrases that women may use, and this is where things start to become a little more clear because women will signal their interest through curiosity.
If I don’t care, I am not gonna get deeper in the conversation. If the woman that’s in this networking event or this dating event, or out socially doesn’t care about you, she will keep the conversation shallow and very light because she’s hoping for the end of it or wants to see the end of it come quicker.
If she does care, she gets curious. If she cares, she gets. Curious. Simple as that. If she cares, she’s curious. If she cares, she’s curious. If she cares. He is curious. She will ask you personal questions, not just how’s your day? Like she would ask a coworker at work, but Hey, what did you get up to this weekend?
Um, are you the kind of person that likes to travel a lot? Like are you seeing anybody right now? Uh, what made you move [00:11:00] here? Do you come here often? Women don’t ask personal questions unless they’re interested. Either interested in getting to know you romantically or feel safe enough that they really like you as a friend, and there’s a little bit of a distinction, differentiation you need to get attuned to with those, but she’s also gonna remember the details.
So if you mention that you’re training for something or going on a particular trip, she’ll follow up with that. That’s intentional. You might have told her like, I remember. Eh, my partner, when I was first getting to know him, we were dating. We were certainly not exclusive at this point, and we had one or two dates before he went on this camping trip with his friends.
And of course, I was eager to ask him how it went when he got back. I remembered the trip. I said, how was the canoeing and the portaging? It sounds like an amazing trip. Tell me all about it. Why? Because I care. Not because I don’t care. And that’s intentional. Women will remember things because they want to then ask you about them later.
And they want you to know that they’re remembering the things because they care about you. So she’ll remember details and that’s really [00:12:00] important. She’s also gonna tease you, and this is why I made it really apparent in the beginning of this video, A woman doesn’t give you all of these clear signs within two seconds.
Unless she’s really, really overtly obvious or you’re both drunk at a bar. Women display these types of behaviors with a little bit of time, which is why sometimes guys you need to just slow down and assess things over a period of time versus go out hunting for a kill that night at that bar. Or, you know, hope that a five minute interaction turns into your next relationship.
So a woman is also gonna tease you. Teasing is feminine flirtation. And she might just be like, oh, like look at you being all organized. It’s just, it’s just the way she says it says it right, or like, that’s such a guy thing to say. Or I feel like you have a secret wild side, or I feel like you’re not telling me something that I should know about you.
What is this mystery man? How come you’re single? What’s going on? I playfulness is a green light from women. It means I’m safe. I’m having fun. I wanna know more. [00:13:00] I feel comfortable to tease you because that is my way of flirting with you. And then maybe casually at some point the conversation, she’s gonna mention that she’s single.
We don’t do that accidentally. We don’t tell men we’re single accidentally. We might say like, oh, you know, dating apps are a disaster. IE I’m implying that I am single. Because if it wasn’t a disaster, I wouldn’t be implying that it was. So we are trying to get you to read between the lines or, you know, I’m not really seeing anybody right now.
We don’t wanna say I’m totally single and not seeing anybody right now, because we don’t wanna come across as some desperate person. But you know, we’ll be like, yeah, maybe. Well, no, I’m not really kind of, just kind of not really maybe seeing somebody right now. We use all this vague language. And you guys are like, how?
What the heck does she mean? Because don’t forget that when we are attracted to a guy, we kind of turn into mush ourselves, and we don’t think particularly super clearly either. So we get into these like mushy, gushy, weird little feminine sides of ourselves. [00:14:00] Or we say like, oh, you know, like, yeah, I haven’t had much luck on dating apps.
I’m actually just trying to get out and meet people in person Instead. That is her way of saying, you’re not crossing a line. I’m comfortable with this. I’m okay with this. Please proceed. Um, and then of course a woman is gonna ask you about your plans. So what are you doing this weekend? IE are you free?
And could you then ask me out? Um, I’m checking for availability or a woman is checking for availability here. Um, we only do that when we are interested in having more time with you, otherwise we’re not gonna ask you, or it’s gonna be really obvious, like, oh yeah, what are you and your family doing this weekend?
’cause we’re just talking to our coworker and we’re trying to, you know, be polite or we’re enjoying the conversation. So now I’m gonna move to what are called situational signs, the big green lights. Okay. And this is that a woman is gonna find reasons to bump into you at the gym, at events, at work, on your street if she keeps appearing in your orbit.
She’s not being [00:15:00] random. She’s trying to give you opportunities by making herself available to you. So if you keep seeing the same woman. It is probably not a coincidence. She’s also gonna prolong your interactions, so if she doesn’t want the conversation to end just yet, she’ll kind of linger a little bit.
And when she does leave the conversation, she’ll say something like, it was really nice seeing you. That’s a signal that she’s willing to reopen the conversation with you at a further date. So women won’t prolong an interaction, like I said previously. We’ll try and get away from you or physically away from you, or we’ll keep things superficial because we don’t want to be there.
But if there’s any sign that we’re continuing to ask questions that we’re prolonging the interaction that we’re. Getting closer to you. These are all really good signs. And then a woman is also gonna create what are called micro opportunities. And these are these really soft invitations that you can use to take the lead.
And it might sound like, you know, we should [00:16:00] compare playlists sometimes, or you would actually love this coffee place you should go, which means we should go, but I don’t wanna say we should go. So I say you should check out, you should check out my favorite restaurant, maybe with me. That would be nice. Um, or I could show you the hiking trail that I mentioned.
Or maybe if you’re around later, I’ll probably be here, like if you work out at the gym. But you know, sometimes I like to come. I, I’m telling you where I’m going to be and I wouldn’t do that if I was not interested in you. These are intentional hooks for you to pick up on, and I know. Why can’t we just be more clear and direct?
It would just make life easier. But maybe we don’t want life to be so easy between men and women. Maybe this little. Difference and fundamental differences in the sexes is what keeps things interesting. Maybe just maybe so. Also, I wanna remind you guys that women will get a little nervous too. So we’ll talk faster, we’ll laugh more, we’ll fidget with our hair.
We’ll over explain stuff because we’re nervous and shy and we get nervous around men [00:17:00] that we like, not men that we’re neutral about. If I don’t really care about a guy, I don’t get really nervous. I don’t get self-conscious in front of him ’cause I don’t, I don’t care if he sees me as a romantic person and I’m not seeing him as a romantic person.
So I’m way more relaxed. But when I see someone that I’m attracted to or that there’s a part of me that like wants to make a certain kind of impression, the energy will shift and that’s natural for most people. You’re also gonna find that a woman will compliment you. That color looks great on you. You smell good, you have such calming energy.
We don’t compliment if we’re not interested in you. So anything that’s really overtly positive that is coming from a woman consistently over time, not just temporary flattery because it’s an awkward situation, is a pretty big sign. She’s interested in you. And the most important piece to look out for are patterns, not moments.
This is really essential. You might have other videos out there online that. I might even share some of the same information that I am telling you here today, but this is where men [00:18:00] make a lot of mistakes. They either treat one friendly gesture as an invitation, and it’s not enough information to know how a woman’s truly feeling.
Or you miss all of these signs because you have convinced yourself that you’re not an eligible bachelor or that you’re not good enough, or you’re too old, or too fat, or too thin, or too broke or too whatever. That women simply just wouldn’t be into you. So here is your rule. One sign means nothing. Two means maybe three or more consistently is definitely interest.
And she’s saying, would you please ask me out? So women will signal in patterns, definitely not in one-offs. So if she’s engaging, the next time you see her, she’s initiating a little bit. She’s opening the door verbally or physically to you more than once. She’s showing playfulness repeatedly. That’s your green light.
And if it happens once and never again. That was just friendliness. Attraction reveals itself over time, not in a single moment. So if you do, if you’re like, okay, this is actually happening to me, [00:19:00] then it’s your chance to ask her out. And if you talked a few times, you can let her know, I’ve really enjoyed talking with you.
You wanna grab coffee or a drink one night this week? And if she’s someone you see regularly, you could say, look, I’d really like to spend some time with you outside of the gym, outside of the office, outside of this event. Wanna grab a drink on Thursday evening? Or if she’s been consistently flirting with you, you can just say, you know, you’re really fun.
Let’s grab a drink sometime Thursday or Friday work for you. Or if she’s really shy, maybe give her a little compliment. You know, I really like your energy. Do you wanna consider, continue this conversation over coffee somewhere else? Maybe you’re just walking out of a gym class together. Direct, grounded, warm invitations.
No pressure, no ambiguity. Women love the clarity even though we won’t give it to you. Okay? So women will absolutely signal when they’re interested. You just haven’t been taught how to read those signs. Especially after, after a divorce. When your confidence takes a hit, your desirability factor might feel lower towards yourself.
But once you can learn these patterns, [00:20:00] something will shift. Guys. You will stop chasing women who are not into you, and you’ll. Start noticing that there are women who are demonstrating interest and you can start trusting your own magnetism again. And attraction becomes a lot easier because you’re not guessing anymore, you’re actually responding to the world around you.
So there’s a couple other videos I have on flirting that might be really great, um, resources to watch in accordance with this video too. But I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments below, guys, chow.
