In this episode of The Self-Confidence Project, I’m breaking down five common phrases women use that subtly indicate a lack of romantic interest. By understanding the true meaning behind statements like ‘I’m just really busy right now’ or ‘I’m not ready for a relationship,’ you can avoid wasting your time and energy on women who aren’t emotionally available or. interested. I’ll provide actionable advice to help you interpret these soft rejections and move on to healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Don’t forget to check out the audio masterclass, ‘10 Must-Know Tips for Talking and Texting with Women,’ which offers deeper insights into effective communication with women.
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Kimberly
Here’s the transcript:
Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of the Self-Confidence Project. I’m your host, Kimberly, and if you guys have ever spoken to a woman, you’re getting to know a woman. You’re dating a woman and she’s texting you, or she tells you on the phone that she’s just really busy right now, so she’ll get back to you or that you’re just a really great guy, but she’s not quite ready for a relationship.
Then if you are familiar with things like this, here’s the truth, women are often kind. With their rejections. And that means that a lot of guys that are out there genuinely trying to build connections and date, women are missing the messages that women are trying to send you without really being clear about them.
And then you guys keep chasing these women. So in this video, I just wanna help y’all out. Okay. I just wanna break down five really common things that women will say that actually. Translate into, I’m just not that into you, even if it sounds polite [00:01:00] or it comes across as slightly confusing. And more importantly, guys, I wanna show you what to do instead so that you don’t waste your energy on women who just simply aren’t that into you or just not emotionally available.
And this is something I see really often in my one-on-one coaching that I do with. Men that I work with, it’s about helping them attract and cultivate healthy, loving relationships with the right women. And honestly, just move away from the women that. Aren’t right for them. That might be a compatibility issue.
Or it might just be that that woman is like dragging them on or doing these soft letdowns and then they end up chasing women that really just weren’t going to be available or that into these guys in the first place. And nobody wants their time wasted when they’re out there dating. So you’re gonna wanna stay tuned to understand the five phrases.
That are actually soft letdowns or soft rejections that women will share with you. And then if you like today’s, uh, podcast, then in the link in the comment is gonna be [00:02:00] access to an audio masterclass that I created that talks about 10 must know tips for talking and texting with women. You guys are welcome to check it out, see if it’s something that you wanna.
Uh, purchase and listen to. Um, but I’m gonna give you lots of great value in today’s video that is just gonna take it a, you know, a little bit deeper and give you a little more meat and a little more understanding. But firstly, guys, the phrase that a woman will share with you when she is genuinely not that interested is.
Number one, I am just super busy right now, or some other variation of, I’m just really busy right now, or I’ve got, um, a lot of family stuff coming up in my calendar. It’s gonna be a kind of a variation of I’m just really busy, or I have a lot going on, or I’m really focused on schoolwork right now, or I’m, you know, things have gotten really hectic at work.
Okay, so again, it’s. Any variation of, I’m really busy right now, and the translation here, guys, is that you are [00:03:00] simply not a priority. Okay? Let’s be honest. Time is equal for every single person. So where we choose to spend it, who we choose to spend it on, determines what’s really most important to us, and life gets busy.
So if a woman was truly interested in you, she would make a time. To keep your connection alive. So what you can do here is if you get this really common, soft let down from women, is to stop offering more effort. Step back, let her come towards you, because if she’s interested, she’ll come towards you. And if she’s not, the connection is just going to fizzle out.
And that is better for you guys to walk away than to spend time trying to put effort into chasing or convincing or rescheduling or being set up, and then being constantly let down. Sometimes for weeks, sometimes even months, right? So if a woman. It’s just super busy right now [00:04:00] because of work, kids, travel life, any other stressors, it just means she’s not that interested in you and that’s okay.
Not everybody is gonna like everybody, and not every connection is gonna lead to something. So that is the translation guy. You’re simply not a priority. Now, the second thing that women say really, really often is, Hey, you know, you’re really great guy. I’m just not ready for a relationship right now. Or it could be a variation of this, of you’re a really great guy.
I just, I really need to go slow right now. I’m just not ready. I need to go slow, and this is confusing. I get it because basically if you’re gonna translate this, literally, it just means I’m just not ready. Right now, but you will be ready at some point. So usually guys go, okay, well I just need to back off a little bit, but I still wanna give her attention and you know, I’m still gonna, you know, emotionally invest in this woman.
But the real translation here guy, is that guys is, [00:05:00] that this woman is saying, I don’t feel an attraction to you. But I don’t know how to communicate this without, you know, and I don’t wanna hurt your feelings. And this is a really classic let you down easy phrase that women use. And this is because women are not very direct communicators.
Right. We, we don’t just say verbatim to your face, Hey, I’m not attracted, so I don’t wanna date you anymore. Um, we, we will just say like, oh, you know, you’re a great guy. I’m just not ready. Or, I just need to go really slow right now because we just don’t really have the balls to tell you. We’re not that attracted to you.
Um, and attractions, you know, you guys know that this is more than just physical attraction, right? So this woman doesn’t wanna hurt your feelings, so she’s trying to let you down lightly. Now, what do you do? Well, guys, you have to accept her words at face value. You don’t want to wait around for this unknown date when she might change her mind or spend time trying to convince [00:06:00] this woman that you’re a great cat.
She just didn’t initially see it. You don’t wanna wait around. You deserve mutual desire and mutual affection. So if a woman lets you down this way, fine, accept that pivot and move on to a woman who is going to reciprocate your interest. Okay? Now the third thing that women will say, if you’ve known this woman for a while, maybe you, um, maybe you like reconnected after many years and maybe you’ve developed a friendship and you think that hey, this is leading towards something that could be, uh, romantic.
And she’s going to say, Hey guy, I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Right? Basically, this is a woman’s way of saying. Hey, I like the validation that this friendship provides me and the attention that you’re giving me, but I’m not romantically interested in you. So this is when you are being picked up and put into the safe platonic box.
This is a woman that says, I [00:07:00] don’t wanna ruin what we have because I’m not interested in doing something romantic with you. So what you can do here, guys, ’cause maybe this is a friendship that you. Are like, okay, look, I thought maybe it could go romantic, but I understand that it’s not, and I still value the friendship.
And if you can have strong boundaries for a friendship, then you can enjoy a beautiful friendship with this person. But what you really need to do is make sure that that boundary is set. So if you’re okay having a friendship, then you gotta keep it in the friendship zone. But if you’re not, if you genuinely were looking for something more than friendship, then you have to let her know.
You have to be honest with yourself, guys. Hey, you know what? I was looking for something more than friendship, and if that’s not here, um, then that’s okay, but, uh, I need to move on because look guys, there’s an opportunity cost in life. So if you’re spending your time with a woman who you’re firmly planted in the friendship camp with, thinking that that might soften or change over time, what you’re really doing is.
You know, missing out on opportunities with [00:08:00] great women that are interested in you romantically. And so oftentimes we’re always trying to weigh out these options. Do I wait, do I move on? Because we think that moving on is some massive, massive act, but really it’s self-care. It’s like, you know, if you’re out there dating, you want to find a woman who is going to have time and avail emotional availability.
And sees you as a romantic partner. The last thing you guys wanna do, whether you’re dating for the first time or reentering the dating market after divorce, is try and convince a single woman on this planet that you’re a worthy, worthy partner. Nobody wants to get into a relationship. You don’t wanna get into a relationship where you’ve had to convince somebody to see your worth or your attraction.
So you pivot and you move on Now. The fourth kind of soft let down that women will share with men, um, that really is a soft rejection is, you know, I’m [00:09:00] just figuring myself out right now. And guys, when a woman says this, or I’m just on some kind of like, you know, journey right now where I’m, I’m just, you know, I’m going through a phase or I’m in a little bit of a transition in my life, right?
There’s always d different language that women might use. The translation here is that I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to invest in you right now. I actually, the translation here is I don’t really know what I want or where I’m going. I’m trying to figure that out right now. And I see this a lot with younger women as well, as well as women that have come out of their own divorces because of course.
You don’t know who you are when you’re younger and you kind of don’t know who you are when you’re thrust back into singledom in your forties or fifties or sixties. So sometimes women just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to invest in you or a relationship. So this is often a phrase that is going to be said by women who are [00:10:00] emotionally unavailable, right?
Because they just don’t have their emotions together. This is something you’ll hear from women that are just unsure. So what you do here is you don’t spend time trying to wait it out because that’s a bad strategy, guys. You just respect that this is her process and you’re not gonna stick around as a placeholder.
It’s really important to know when to kind of deinvest your time from a woman who is trying to tell you in. Crazy women language, which is really indirect and often kind of soft let down sometimes sounds complicated. This is our women’s way of saying, Hey, like I am rejecting you, but it’s hard for women to point blank reject a man because sometimes we’re not sure how this person is gonna respond.
So we try and do it in a way that says, I’m not interested, but I’m creating safety. I don’t know how you’re res gonna respond, especially if I don’t know you well. [00:11:00] So I don’t do it super assertively because I, I’m afraid of how you might react. Right? And that that’s not a reflection necessarily on you guys.
You could have been the calmest, most emotionally mature, like grounded man, um, someone that’s very, very trustworthy. But women are raised to. Um, you know, look, we are the weaker sex, right? So the way we communicate is a reflection of that. So if a woman is just figuring herself out right now, she’s in transition.
It’s just, she just doesn’t have the emotional bandwidth to invest in you. And the last thing you guys wanna do is try and fight for a woman’s attention, right? And the last kind of gentle and soft letdown guys that you’re gonna hear from women pretty often is, well, let’s just see what happens. Or, you know, why, why do we have to rush into commitment?
Or why can’t we just keep it casual or let’s just keep it casual, right? The translation here is, I don’t want to commit to you, but I like your attention. So I have a whole other video on, uh, I can’t remember the title right now, but it’s something to do with like signs a [00:12:00] woman. Um, is interested in your atten, like your validation, but not a real relationship.
A woman’s gonna say something like this, let’s just see what happens. Let’s just keep it casual. I ain’t defining this. And this is what will turn into oftentimes a situationship, right? This is a woman who does not wanna commit to you, but she likes the attention that you give her because it feels good.
So this is super vague. It’s a vague thing that women say. It makes you guys feel like, okay, well. Yeah, I’m, yeah, of course. I’m happy to keep it cool, like I don’t wanna be perceived as needy and say that I am looking for commitment, but that’s exactly what you should do. What you should do is if you are looking for something real and genuine, and a real commitment, be clear about your wants and needs.
Because that says that you respect yourself. And if she’s not ready for that, then you’re gonna have to move towards women who do want the same thing as you. So these are things that women are gonna say to let you down lightly that usually are not very clear. And [00:13:00] clear is kind. So what women don’t recognize sometimes is that.
This is hurtful to men. It causes frustration in the dating process. And if women could be slightly more clear, of course it’s gonna be helpful. Um, but there are a lot of women out there, and they’re not the ones necessarily listening to this video. So you’re going to have to navigate through some of this vague language as you get out there and date and get to know new women.
So really guys, what’s really important is just a healthy reminder for me that there’s, there’s no fun to be had when you’re chasing ambiguity. And you never, ever like biggest message for you, no matter whether you’re a young guy listening to me and you’re dating for the first time, or you’re a seasoned veteran, like getting out there after a first, second divorce, right?
Never negotiate your worth. Your worth is not up for debate and it’s not up for negotiation with a woman. The most grounded thing you can do when you’re dating is believe. A woman’s [00:14:00] actions over her words because words are cheap, right? It’s easy to just say, oh, I’m busy right now. Um, and you think, okay, well, sure, I’ll believe her words that she’s busy right now, but it means she’ll be available later.
But her actions are demonstrating that she’s not spending time with you. She’s not initiating conversations. She’s not clearing some time in a 24 hour day. Or long week to see you and prioritize that connection with you. So it’s really about understanding guys, when you need to be willing to walk away with your self-respect and tact, because that is what makes you attractive.
It genuinely is what makes you attractive. Guys, when. Men stick around and try and fill this role or help a woman through her transition, or you’re super, super patient through all the things that are going on in her life. Or if you, you know, just cozy up in the friend zone thinking things are gonna translate.
These are [00:15:00] actually the type of man that lose female respect because you are just available. You don’t necessarily have a strong code or value system that you are living by. And over time, it’s hard for a woman to respect a man who kind of just, you know, follows her around or becomes her shadow, so to speak.
So if this kind of breakdown is helpful for you, and you’re really just saying like, why are women so hard to understand? Um, I did think it’s appropriate given the content of today’s video to, to talk to you guys about an audio masterclass that I created. I actually. Literally woke up in the middle of the night at like 2:00 AM with this idea, and I was like, I need to break it down for people.
And I didn’t wanna make it super fancy. It’s very approachable in terms of investment, I think it’s like. 79 bucks or something like that. I can’t remember last time I looked. Um, I’ve changed the price a little bit, but it goes into 10 really powerful tips for talking and texting with women. You can listen to it [00:16:00] once or twice on like a nice meditative walk, and it’s gonna walk you through the exact mindset, energy, and language that builds real connection with women and helps you understand the subtle differences in terms of how men and women communicate.
Um, so, you know, go check it out. If you’re interested, I’ll leave the link. For it in, um, in the description here of the YouTube video. And it’s packed with insights just to help you understand and stand out from a lot of men out there that misinterpret female communication or don’t really understand, you know, the most important elements of really deeply connecting with women.
So you can check it out in the link below, read through the page, see if it’s of interest to you. If you want, check it out. Um, let me know your thoughts. I’d love to hear from you. Let me know your thoughts on today’s video. Was it helpful to just hear it from a woman and, and just be like, look, these are the things that we say that actually mean this.
Um, you know, stop getting confused when you’re out there dating, although our language is oftentimes what is confusing you, um, it’s important to understand that the differences in how men and women communicate are not [00:17:00] flaws, they’re features. Once you understand those things, um, communicating and connecting with women becomes a lot more easy and a lot, um, you know, it’s effortless guys.
So, um, thanks for sticking around for today’s video. I’d love to hear your comments below in terms of whether you’ve. Experienced this or if you’ve experienced this and thought it meant something else and persisted anyways, what was your outcome? Um, share it for other guys too so that um, they can just enjoy dating.
’cause modern dating is a little complicated and nuanced these days and I just wanna break it down and help people show up and connect more deeply and just go on to have deeply loving relationships. So thanks guys for tuning in and look forward to another episode next week. Cia.
