Welcome back to The Self-Confidence Project. In today’s video, I’m sharing four clear and effective ways women show they’re interested in you. These insights come from my own personal experiences and observations, designed to clear up common misunderstandings about flirting signals. If you’re navigating the world of modern dating, especially if you’re in your 40s, 50s, or 60s, I’ve got practical advice to help you recognize these signs and build your confidence.
P.S. If you’re a man navigating dating after divorce, don’t go it alone. My free masterclass was made for you—learn how to rebuild confidence, attract the right women, and avoid common post-divorce mistakes. Watch it here.
Ready for tailored support? Book your 1:1 dating strategy call with me here and let’s map out your next steps.
See you next week,
Kimberly
Here’s the transcript:
Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of The Self-Confidence Project. I’m your host, Kimberly, and today we’re gonna be talking about four ways, okay? You’re gonna walk away after watching this video, listening to this podcast. You’re gonna know four ways that women will be flirting with you, okay?
Things that women do to let you know they’re interested and that they will do in the hopes that you will. Approach them and all. Four of the things I’m gonna share with you are things that I have done, my girlfriends have done, and many other women will be doing. Um, some of them won’t even recognize what they’re doing.
In fact, it only took me many years of reflecting on my own behavior to pick up and pick out these things that women do to men. Um, ’cause no woman is given a rule book. These are things that just naturally end up happening. [00:01:00] So. We are gonna clear something up and that’s that women are often way more obvious about flirting than you might think.
And the problem is that a lot of men are gonna be missing this. Not because you guys are clueless, but because you might be looking for some of the. Signs from women. So again, I’m gonna share four crystal clear signs that a woman is in fact inviting you or flirting with you. And like I said, I’ve personally done every single one of these things.
Now, before we dive into this, if you’re new to this channel, welcome aboard. We talk all things life and dating and relationships, and navigating. Modern dating, um, especially if you’re dating again after a divorce, a separation, or at, um, you know, for the first time after a long-term relationship, you can feel like you’re walking into a complete unknown territory.
Um, and you know, the dating scene has definitely changed and, and women have definitely changed. And if you’re dating also, [00:02:00] let’s say in your forties, fifties, or sixties, and the last time you really got into a serious relationship was in your twenties and thirties, then naturally you’re starting to recognize that.
Women are different. The way they operate is a little different. And so you might be going, well, the strategies and the things I was doing in my twenties and thirties just aren’t really working for me now. Um, and so if you need a little guidance or you need a little support, um, you’re welcome to book a complimentary call with me.
We’ll see if coaching is the right modality for you. If not, that’s okay. There’s lots of resources and directions I can point you in. Um, but if it is the right fit, then you’d be like many of my clients who have, you know, found great loving relationships, um, post-divorce, post-separation, post long term relationships.
So let’s dive into the first thing that women are gonna do, which you might now hear this and go, oh, that’s actually really obvious. Now the first thing women are gonna do is. Physically move [00:03:00] into your line of sight. Now this is something I did a lot in my twenties. Um, my twenties, I was living in Sydney, Australia.
I was working in finance and my girlfriends and I would often go out after work, um, Thursdays and Fridays and Saturdays. Not always three days in a row, but sometimes three days in a row. And we would often go out to a couple of the funky bars in Double Bay. They’re very busy bars. Um, and honestly, people in Australia are typically very gorgeous.
There’s lots of music, there’s really great vibes, cocktails in these places. And so we would go as a group of girls, we’d all get dressed up. We would, you know, take an Uber there or would be a taxi there. And if I saw what I thought was a handsome or attractive man, I wouldn’t just kinda wait around for him to notice me.
I would engineer the moment. Okay. Now, I didn’t really realize I was doing this until recently when I started to reflect on my own behavior, but [00:04:00] what I would do is I would kind of casually. Move closer to where he was. Let’s say he was at the bar ordering a drink, I would naturally start moving in that direction next to where he might be ordering.
Or I would walk past him on the way to the bathroom twice, right? So I would be positioning myself. So that I was viewable, that I ended up in his view. Now, my goal was not to pounce on him. Of course, and my goal was not to be approaching him, but I was trying to make it easier for him to notice me now.
Yeah, there’s a little insecurity here in this too, and naturally women who are single that are. Looking around for a potential partner might have a glimmer of insecurity and numb. I know I certainly did in my twenties, but I was trying to make it easier for this [00:05:00] handsome man, um, that I perceived as handsome to see me.
And so that if he liked what he saw, then you know, here I was welcome to approaching me. Right? And so guys, this is actually more common than you realize. You might not recognize this all the time, but if a woman is, you know, suddenly in your space a few times in a short period, and you are in an environment where this would more naturally happen, right?
A bar or any type of place or venue where the intention is to go out and have fun and to meet people, right? Then this woman is. She may not be there by accident, right? So the ways that you guys can think about how to spot this is if a woman changes her standing position or seat position to move closer to you, or you notice that she’s walked past you more than once.
Without a [00:06:00] reason or she ends up in your direct line of sight in a very crowded space, right? You’re here maybe talking to your guy friends, but like instead of her being over here, she’s just behind the men or the guys that you’re talking to, or whomever you’re talking to, then this woman might just be trying to put herself in your view, and that’s a woman’s indirect.
Mm. Slightly more subtle way of saying, I see you. Do you see? Me now, tip number two is that when a woman sees a guy that she’s interested in or a little glimmer of interest or attraction, she’s thinking, Hey, I hope this guy talks to me. She will start fidgeting or she’ll start playing with her appearance around you.
And what women will do is kind of called preening. Sometimes it’s subconsciously, but it is when they are interested. [00:07:00] So. I, I once, when I was out, I had a friend kind of nudge me because a guy that I was interested in or thought was, you know, good looking, had walked in and instantly I, you know, started kind of touching my hair.
I started kind of adjusting my dress and, um, and I even like, you know, did a quick little mirror slash glance in my phone just to make sure, you know, I didn’t have hair across my face or something in my teeth, right? And so these little. Kind of grooming movements are a way of a woman saying, I want to look my best for you, without actually saying it out loud.
And especially if we’re out in environments where, you know, we spent a lot of time getting ready. And you know, we might be eating or drinking, we’re naturally just gonna make sure we’re still looking good or apply our lip gloss so that you know, our hair doesn’t get stuck in it or what, whatever. We’re just gonna preen so that if you do come and approach us, we are looking our absolute best for you.
So if you notice that a woman is kind of suddenly [00:08:00] fixing her hair, or she’s reapplying her gloss or lip liner. Or she’s straightening her outfit after spotting you. That can be a subtle sign that a woman is trying to stay fresh looking and looking her best for you. Now you can spot it if she, uh, flips her hair or she smooths, smooths.
Smooths smooths her hair. Um, you can spot it if she’s applying, you know, a lipstick touchup when you’re in view or kind of fixing her face in that way, or she’s adjusting her clothing or posture. Um, you know, maybe like holding her stomach in and standing up a little straighter so that she just looks more flattering.
Women do this, we want to look. Good for men that we are interested in. So you’ll notice that women will be fixing or preening themselves. Okay? Now the third thing that women are gonna do. Is, we’ll kind of look for excuses to engage with [00:09:00] you. Now, some women are bold enough to be the one that directly approach men, but oftentimes women are a little more subtle and a little more indirect.
So we’ll kind of look for a reason or an excuse to engage with you. And I remember. I was at a friend’s barbecue once and I saw a guy across basically the grass, the patty, or whatever it was. I can’t remember, and I wanted to talk to him, but instead of kind of waiting for him. I did walk over and ask like, Hey, do you know who’s got the current playlist for the music going on right now?
It was kind of dumb, but it was a very random question. Um, and of course I didn’t really care about the music. What I cared about was starting a conversation. So women will do this to you and they might ask you where the bathroom is. Or they might make a comment about your shirt, or they’ll ask you a question that they already know [00:10:00] the answer to, because it’s not really about the question or the playlist or where the bathroom is.
It’s about. Finding an excuse to be known, to be in front of you and to engage with you. It’s ultimately we’re saying, Hey, I’m gonna do a lot of the legwork for you. I’m gonna, I’m gonna open the door for you. And this was more common by the way, me noticing as a woman I would do these things, particularly in Australian culture where what I recognize coming from Canada and then going to the united, uh, to, to Australia.
Was men and women really were like separated in social events. Men would hang with each other and women would hang with each other, and there was a lot of tension and awkwardness about like mixed gender socializing. I noticed so. It was less like that in Canada. And so I recognized this divide more when I was in Australia.
And I think that’s where I started to recognize, hey, I’m finding these excuses to engage with these men ’cause they ain’t coming around and doing the engaging and [00:11:00] I’d like to get to know ’em or talk to them or develop friendships or see if something could happen. So, you know, I would find these excuses or other women in my friend group would find these excuses to engage with men.
So the way you can spot this is. Women, um, end up asking you kind of random questions out of the blue that are not urgent. Right. You might be really pondering, oh, that was weird. Um, well that’s because it might be just a reason or an excuse for her to talk to you, or she’s commenting on something that you are doing or wearing.
Or she might actually make like a playful, flirty comment from across the room about like, oh, don’t pour your beer like that. Or, oh, that keg is empty, or, or whatever it might be that she says. It’s her way of engaging with you, even if you’re kind of going like, don’t tell me what to do, or who cares if I’m doing it wrong, or, that’s embarrassing that she pointed that out.
That’s a woman’s way of opening the door. It’s an invitation to actually talk [00:12:00] with each other. Um, you’re also gonna notice that women, especially in crowded environments, they’re gonna bump into you women bump into men that they’re trying to get the attention of. You’ve seen this in Hollywood where they take it obviously to another extreme where a woman like.
Fakes falling down in front of a man so that he’s like, oh my God, I must pick you up. And now we have this fairytale beginning of our relationship. Well, women typically aren’t gonna go that far, but they will bump into you, um, and they will do those types of things to get your attention. If you are in fact, that guy who happens to be very obtuse or very fixated on your friend group and not noticing her, so women will do this now.
These things happen more or less depending on the environment. Obviously if you’re in a very professional setting or you’re in a course structure, you know, women can’t necessarily do these things as obviously, but even if you notice in a seating arrangement or if you are sat down, [00:13:00] let’s say. You’ve gone to like a speaking event and you’re in the, like the eighth row, right?
A woman who sees you and is attracted to you won’t sit behind you, so she’ll go and sit in front of you so that you will notice and see her. So even in environments that are a little more. Professional or stuffy or strict, these things will happen. They just may not be as noticeable or obvious as a crowded bar where there’s noise, there’s music, and a woman is going to bump into you on the way to, uh, the bathroom, you know, you’re in a crowded environment, these types of things.
So these things will happen, but I guess the ex, the level of intensity of them, um, might be different depending on the environment you are in. Um, even in a cafe setting, right? If a woman is. Um, very attracted to a man that she sees in there and she’s, she’s planning to sit down and read a book or work on her laptop in the cafe.
She will sit somewhere where she, um, knows you could possibly look up and see her too. So it happens in all environments. It [00:14:00] just might feel, uh, more obvious and louder crowded environments. Now the last thing that women are gonna do is. She, if you end up talking to this woman, so you pick up these signs, you actually start a conversation with a woman because she bumped into you or made fun of how you were doing something.
Um, then a woman will put some effort into extending the interaction because the alternative is if a woman is not interested in a man, she’ll find a reason to leave the interaction. Early, but if she is interested, she’s going to look for reasons to extend the interaction. So I remember years ago I was chatting with a guy after a, a big group dinner, and everybody was getting up to leave, but I wasn’t ready for my conversation with this man to, and so instead of getting up and walking out with everybody, I did linger a little bit and I asked him some more questions.
I made a joke. I got him talking again. Because the point I’m making here is if a woman is quite interested [00:15:00] in you, she won’t rush off. She’s gonna try and find reasons or conversational reasons to keep the momentum or moment alive or to be able to have some dialogue with you one on one, um, outside of a group setting, even if it’s just for another moment or two.
And I think the reason why we do this is. This is our way of trying to demonstrate our interest, and it is also our way to see like, um, how you respond to us giving you signals of interest too. Now if you try and hurry us away or you are the one trying to get out of the interaction. We start to also pick up that subtle energy of maybe he’s not interested.
So we do this to show we’re interested, but also to test your level and or willingness to spend some time with us. So the way you can spot this is, um, you know, a woman’s gonna introduce in new topic of conversation as things are. Potentially naturally winding down [00:16:00] or a woman is going to, um, definitely be asking you follow up questions even when it is time to leave or the event is ending or whatever it might be.
The restaurant’s closing. And really importantly too, and I talk about this a lot in my, um, my like free flirting masterclass I have on YouTube, which can go check out. A woman’s body will stay facing you. Her feet will stay facing you, rather than starting to angle away from you. When a woman is angling away from you, that’s her body trying to say to you, Hey, I’m ready to leave.
My feet are actually pointing in the direction that I wanna go. But when she’s interested in you, she will stay facing you because she’s interested. She feels that there’s trust and safety there. Um, and her body is actually gonna be telling, um, you what she’s interested in, which is what she is pointing at, which is you.
So these are four things that women are gonna do. To try and get your attention. Now, [00:17:00] maybe you have missed some of these signs, or these are not the things that you’re aware of looking out for, or maybe there’s a bit of your deeper intuition where you’re going. I knew it. I knew that woman was interested in me, but I just didn’t pick up on it last time, and I was having a conversation with a client the other day.
About one of these signs. And he was, he wanted my feedback. He’s like, look, this, these girls, they came up, you know, next to the bar where I was sitting and they kind of bumped me while they were, you know, asking what’s good to order here? And he’s like, what do you think they were after? I was like, I think they were after your attention.
Because if a woman was not after your attention, um, she could have waited, ordered a different time, gone to a different side of the bar. She put herself in your view, um, even bumped into you to make it more obvious. Um, and so the, this is a women’s woman’s way of saying, Hey, like, I’m trying to, I’m trying to extend this olive branch so that you can, um, [00:18:00] you’re invited to talk to me.
Now, it doesn’t mean you’re gonna wanna talk to all these women that do this to you, but if you’re aware of these things, you might recognize that women have been inviting you into conversations. More than you have realized. And the truth is that women don’t usually walk up and say to men, Hey, I am flirting with you.
Instead, they’re gonna give you these subtle. Hopefully clear clues and it really is very much up to you to notice. So if you start spotting these four signs, you might have this aha moment that women have been showing interest in you more often than you actually think. And if you want a little more help on now, how to, you know, have a more engaging conversation and be a little bit more of a master at flirting.
Um, I do have another YouTube video that is like a free masterclass on flirting. There’s also a video I put out on nine. Subtle signs that she is sexually attracted to you, which talks about some of the things I shared with you today. But those will help you go a little deeper and get a little more [00:19:00] knowledge on what I am talking about because once you know some of these clues and you also know how to respond and have conversations with women.
Dating and talking with women, being out in environments with women just becomes a heck of a lot more fun because you understand the different ways that women are really inviting you into their world. So I hope this has been helpful for you guys. I’d love to hear thoughts and comments about whether you’ve thought that this was a woman showing interest but weren’t sure, or if this has in fact actually happened to you, or maybe you met a partner this way.
Um, please drop your thoughts, stories, and, um, and, uh, and, and, you know, views into the comment section because it’s fun to read and to share with other people too. And of course, if you are looking for guidance or you’re going, I have no idea how to understand. If women are interested in me, I’m not even sure what kind of relationship I’m looking for, or I don’t really know how to step back into the modern dating world, um, then I’m more than happy to have a, a complimentary conversation with you.
[00:20:00] See if we’re a good fit for coaching. You can be like many of my clients that have gone on to have healthy, loving, respectful, intimate, fun, lively relationships with women of all ages. Okay guys, thanks for this one and see you guys all next week.
