For some people, dating seems to be easy. Everything falls into place, they have great dates, and within weeks, they find someone they fall madly in love with. They move in, get married and have two beautiful children. All the while, you\u2019re still doubting yourself, struggling to set up an online profile and feeling like a lost cause. Oh, and those people in that fantasy were both skinny.<\/p>\n
But for those of us that carry extra weight, we might feel undeserving of love. And we\u2019re certainly no strangers to fat shaming. And if you\u2019ve tried dating and failed, you may have reached a point of obliterated self-esteem because you think the only way to find true love is to suffer through diet and exercise.<\/p>\n
However, there is someone out there for all of us. And to find that special someone, we must first break through some of the limiting beliefs that are holding us back.<\/p>\n
Those beliefs are:<\/p>\n
Firstly, let me point out that both these beliefs are entirely untrue, yet they hold back thousands of men when it comes to dating.<\/p>\n
You may think your size disqualifies you from the dating pool, but it\u2019s not true. Plenty of women will date men who carry extra weight. And yes, it\u2019s also true that many women won\u2019t date men that are overweight, but that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s true for all women. What we have to be careful of here of what\u2019s called cognitive distortions. If you buy into your dating experiences as black and white, you\u2019ll fall prey to thinking that just because one woman didn\u2019t want to date you because of your size, all women don\u2019t want to date you; and that\u2019s simply not true.<\/p>\n
You may also believe that women care only for looks and money. And if you believe that, you might even become resentful towards women. But studies show<\/strong><\/span><\/a> that personality has a greater effect on who women find attractive. Women who take dating seriously, are searching for a compatible life partner, someone with whom they can share experiences, or start a family with.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re able to work through these beliefs, you\u2019ll face a much higher chance of success when dating. Here are some other suggestions you can implement while you explore dating:<\/p>\n 1. Be Honest About Your Weight.<\/strong> Don\u2019t try and hide your weight or hide from the world. If you\u2019re setting up an online profile, don\u2019t get tempted to use outdated photos of when you looked different. Rather, focus on demonstrating who you are today and what makes you a great catch. This will paint you in an honest and favourable light.<\/p>\n 2. Don\u2019t Make Your Weight Your Defining Feature.<\/strong> Resists the temptation to make your weight the focus of conversations or excuse yourself for carrying extra weight. While you may be working on changing your body, it doesn\u2019t mean you need to let everyone into your weight-loss journey, diet plan or fitness regime. Talk about other areas of your life, such as your hobbies, passions and favourite travel destinations and this will make you come across as more confident about who you are.<\/p>\n 3. Continue To Be Proactive<\/strong>. The truth is rejection plagues all of us. Find ways to embrace body positivity and continue to put yourself out there. It only takes one person to change your situation in love. Start counting your wins versus tallying your losses.<\/p>\n 4. Have Realistic Expectations.<\/strong> While some individuals will list being overweight as a dealbreaker, many women will focus on the quality of the connection, how you make them feel, and humour and intelligence as a higher priority than weight. Search for these women.<\/p>\n 5. Be Stylish For Your Size<\/strong>. If you\u2019ve gained weight, it\u2019s no reason to stop taking care of your body or dressing well. Make sure you\u2019re wearing clothes and styles that suit you and don\u2019t make the common error of trying to hide your body by wearing oversized t-shirts or jerseys. If you need to update your wardrobe or invest in some new clothing, do that for yourself so you feel comfortable and stylish when you head out of the house.<\/p>\n Kimberly Hill is a leading Dating & Relationship Coach For Men, and the Host of The Self-Confidence Project Podcast<\/strong> <\/span><\/a>where she talks candidly about life, dating and relationships. She supports men to find and keep healthy, loving relationships while overcoming guilt, shame and self-limited beliefs. You can follow her on Instagram @kimberlyninahill<\/strong><\/span><\/a> for daily inspiration, or to learn more information and book a complimentary call, head over to her website here<\/strong><\/span><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For some people, dating seems to be easy. 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